*Helo..and again , im stuck thinking weather to quit or not to .. haihh.. Sometimes when i feel so darn angry , i feel like quitting , a thousand reasons would come in to my mind and says that i need to stay..sometimes i even feel that IM the failure for being what i am today..
Yea..I don't care anymore weather they give me or not..they give me, i do properly, they don't give , i don't mind also..But i don't think so anymore.. I WAS capable of taking up that highest pose, they said so.. Im just too worn out. I just hope i don't get anything, so i won't cause any trouble anymore. Plus i could quit without worrying.. Honest, i don't want to quit , i love them. The heart-ache i feel when i think of leaving..But what else choice do i have? i ain't important to them anymore.. They just come to me for things they need regarding my pose..the highest guy himself said we should'nt be unfair to people..but look who's talking..
Sometimes, i feel so tired, fed up , and pissed off, till i just don't give a damn about anything anymore. Aren't we suppose to understand each other more?? You should know la , how you treat me. Its just unfair. There's too darn many things to list down about what you all did. Maybe i have a different thinking? But still, you could give a positive reply ? or atleast reject it politely ? rather then ignoring me. Apart from that, do you know? each person has their own deep inside feeling? yea..DO FEEL HURT WHEN YOU ALL BULL-CRAP ABOUT ME!! , BULL-CRAP HOW I SUCK AT DRUMMING! HOW FAT AM I ! .. DO YOU FREAKING KNOW HOW I FEEL?!?! yea.. i feel like giving up ! There was even once that one of my 'elder' one kicked me for no reason -.- .. You all spoke with me in private , 4 of you , i still remember , in 3A4.. you all ask me to tell all out.. i did. You all said you all will solve.. SEKARANG APA JADI?? Too much you know...haihh..enough said about it today..wanna rest my mind. So stress neh :/ .. lastly about this for today.. i just hope you all would put your self in my shoe and feel how i feel.. Cuba rasa..
I MISS MY DRUMs!! still at school :(( If i could know the IU day's date then i could take back la D: .. but..still no news..
Today at class, my bunch of friends decided to call everyone 'JOE' xDD haha..its a name :P .. so went so crazy and laughed our asses off xD .. Finally presented my groups English Essay Project..our group got an A ! :D woohoo! .. but anyways..had fun la xD group planning is always fun , IF you have the right people...
Expected alot regarding talentime and drama during this morning's assembly.. But then -.- . nope.. expected too much..haha..sijil also haven't come xD haha..
Chemistry , Pn Thevanei showed a experiment.. When the Magnisium oxide popped and sparkled (which everyone nears it kena xD) , i started clapping :P and the rest started clapping xD haha..macam show je :P
Tired day D: .. got to start revising .. exams !! T__T Mid - year..better not play play adi..Got to quality time on books!.. but still , NO NEGLECTING GYM! got to work out and get this damn tummy off ! T__T .. gonna have funnnnnnn :P
That's it for now.. will update soon. See ya!!
~ Michaelian and Proud ~
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