I Don't Want to go to kl
is that too hard to understand? i want continue my studies here :(
you as my father , you promised me not to let anything happen to me..
But on that day you told me about the divorce,
You left ,
mommy left,
Do you think is easy for me to accept this?
i was standard 4 back then...and now im form 3 .. do you think that i really accepted it?
i dont want a broken family with a step mother in it..i want a happy family
you said you would care for my feeling..but do you know what i want and do you know that tears is running down my face right NOW ?!
I dont want to go to kl...easy as that.. you told me you wont bring me there..
but you are keeping it as secret that you will and you are going come back oneday at the end of the year and bring me there permanently..
Do you know as a son it hurts ? To hear arguements when i was small and it still reminds me till today..the banging, the throwing, the slamming of doors..the shouting.. the arguing...but.. all i see was my dad leaving , and soon , my mom driving off when i was just standing at the house gate looking....and now , im sitting here with tears running down my face, wishing that it never happened....
I'm form 3 now.. i am going to face PMR in about a month's time..And i still need to face all this.
yes.. maybe im not the study type that you aspected..but atleast understand me as your son...
i might be happy and smiling infront of you guys acting that nothing had happened...but i still can't accept..
night by night , day by day , hours by hours....When i think of what a broken family im in .. tears comes out and runs down my cheeks ...
i miss the moment when i used to let my mom and i would hug my mom early in the morning before my grandparents fetch me to school..i used to fall asleep in her arms when she is hugging me....but i havent felt her hug for years....
Sometimes , i show happy faces, act like a fool.. be playful..its cause not to show ppl that im weak and cant take this...i never once shown my deep feelings inside me...
I Might be happy with the stuffs around me now.. like my drums, laptop , speakers, band....but..do you think taking me away from all this will make it be better? or it will be worst? KL might be capital city of Malaysia. I understand that you guys wants me to adapt to the enviroments over there..but do you think its time ? What i want is to follow my dreams..i want finish form 5 or 6 in SMI, then i want to strike for going to study Culinary Arts and become a successful chef . . . I dont want a broken family...But you don't understand me. i just want a happy home...How long has it been that we've had a family dinner together? Daddy , Mommy, Brother, and me...............
